5 ways to help a grieving friend or family member

I copied this from the THE GARDEN A CENTER FOR GRIEVING CHIKLDREN & TEENS web site today. The kids & I have participated in this support group since January & it has been extremely helpful.
Five things to help a grieving friend

1. Acknowledge What Has Happened
Say something ("I am so sorry about your loss"), write something (a card or a note means a great deal), do something (a kind gesture or helpful deed is always welcome). (And I would add: please be sure that if you have offered to do something for the person or be with them in some capacity that you really follow through. This is not a time to say things that you can't follow through on. perhaps promise less? do more?)

2. Listen, Listen, Listen
Make time to be with the friend and listen to their thoughts and feelings. Don't ever assume that you know what they are going through. Just let them know that you are there for them to listen and care.

3. Accept the Other as He or She Is
Don't try to offer advice on how the person should act or feel. If the person seems different, remember that THEY ARE. Something big has happened to them.

4. Offer to Help, and Make Your Offers Specific
Don't just say, "I am here for you." Tell the person HOW you are here for them. Examples are: "I will get the homework assignments for you," or "I will check in on how you are doing everyday this week, ok?" or "I want to sit with you at lunch for awhile until you are feeling better."

5. Relate to the Other as a Whole Person
No one wants to be seen as a victim all the time. Remember that the person is more than what they have lost. To forget who the person is will not help their recovery. To forget that they have had a sad thing happen, will make them feel invisible. So try to keep both things in mind.

GRIEF IS A CONTINUAL PROCESS. WHAT MIGHT ASSIST YOU?

TALKING
GETTING INVOLVED IN SCHOOL AND OTHER ACTIVITIES
HAVING TIME ALONE CRYING
WRITING DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS
BEING WITH FRIENDS
EATING HUGGING SCREAMING PRAYING
HELPING OTHERS GETTING COUNSELING
JOINING A SUPPORT GROUP
EXERCISING
LISTENING TO MUSIC
DRAWING OR PAINTING
E-MAILING




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